I have been going out of my way for friends all year in anticipation for this. So this month should be a cake walk ending with one of my best friend's weddings on June 30. But there are ways I can improve.
After reading Gretchen's chapter on making time for friends, there are some things that stand out. There is a LOT in this chapter and I would highly recommend that you read it even if you don't read the rest of the book. There are a lot of good tips in it. One is that having strong relationships actually lengthen your life. Fact is, everyone dies. And we need people in our lives to help us through rough times. But we also need to be there for others. Simply showing up ever if you don't feel like it can make a huge difference. There are some friendships I've let slip away that I am really sorry that I have.
I am really good at bringing people together but get really irritated that I am the only one who does it. So one of her points is to cut people slack. We are all going through different things and there are times when I drop the ball. A great example she gives is how annoyed we get when a phone goes off in a movie but how if it goes off for us, we thought it was important enough to keep it on because ______ (you need the babysitter to get a hold of you etc...). And we tend to let one thing happening ONCE affect how we view that person's character. I am going to try to let stuff like that go. If a person keeps doing something, that's another story but one or two times doesn't mean they are a bad person. It just means they could be going through a rough time.
As much as this may shock some, I get really down when people complain. I know, crazy huh? I come off as a complainer. I know that. But I hate when other people do it because it makes me want to and I really sincerely want to do it less.
I am a huge hypocrite - it sucks. I hate gossip but hate feeling left out or like the last to know when things happen. I don't know how to rectify it but I need to cut back on it. I thin that it'll be an easy month to start this since work ends on June 15. Work(although I love it and my coworkers/friends) is a HUGE source of constant gossip.
She points out that you can strengthen old friendships, deepen current ones and make new ones.
One thing I am going to do is send out one letter each day to a friend letting them know what they mean to me and why. I feel super vulnerable doing this since I think it could come back to bite me on the ass - getting my butt busted for saying corny things or GOD FORBID not sending it to someone who thought they should've gotten one. That's 30 letters in June. I did this once in 2004 and got 0 replies back. It's not about the reply. That's not why I did it but it would've been nice to get one back. So far I can only think of 20 people who I could do this for. It might be a struggle but I will find a way to do it. Even if this becomes a quick thank you note instead of a letter.
And yes, I still need to work on smiling more. That one is super tough. I don't feel like I have to smile to be happy but I realize that others recognize it as a sign of happiness...
Here is what I came up with for my chart:
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