Eff the wetlands!

When I was a kid, there was a spot about 300 feet from my house that had this little pond an din the pond there were tad poles and frogs. Nothing crazy but I loved going there. I loved being outside and getting dirty. I would collect tadpoles and put them in the pond we have at my house. As the years have gone on, people in my neighborhood began to fill the pond with grass clippings... It now is nothing.

Gotta love what happens in the suburbs. By the way, there is a lot of land nearby (and that might be some) that is wet lands. We have wetlands on this property. It's all over the place. I will never understand why people do some things. The kids in the neighborhood will never get to experience that. I know it's a small thing but it's just ridiculous. Someone sat there one day and said ,"Hmmm I have too many grass clippings and nowhere to put them... I'm gonna use that pond across the street that has animals in it." That had to be how it went. 

License update

So around 4:30 on Friday I still had not heard about my license so I called them. Listen to this non sense. In January 2011, I had to apply for a 5 year extension. In order to do that, I needed a letter from my district stating that I had worked for them for years years as a history teacher. It was completed but it said I was a social studies teacher. basically the same exact thing, just using a synonym. The guy said that the credits are fine but that I need a new letter stating that I have been a history teacher, which I have been. Semantics Gotta love it. Your tax dollars at work, folks. I am getting it signed tomorrow and faxing it in tomorrow so I should have my license by Friday.  Good grief.

But I also found out that while my district won't accept the 3 credits I did at UMass as an undergrad, they WILL accept the 2 I did that I forgot about in 2008. Win. That means I only need 11 more credits to get that raise. 

This week will be busy. I have nannying on Monday and Friday, a Bible study class on Wednesday and a real grad class on Thursday and all day Saturday. Yikes. 

At least Dexter starts tonight. 

The licensure saga continues

I swear that my licensure department has 2 people working their licensure application process and they are only in from 2-5 Monday-Friday.

I am a very patient person with a lot of things - this is not one of them. I am waiting for the above license to proces. I applied in October 2009 and was told I needed to take 12 graduate credits in my subject matter, which I completed this July. After I got the transcripts proving this, I sent in my application to the DOE on August 13. So conservatively we'll say it arrived on August 15. They were supposed to take 5 weeks to scan it. They took 5.5. How hard is it to scan 3 pieces of paper? It's a job a monkey could do. I mean a literal monkey, too. As soon as it said "ready for review" on Monday morning, I sent a request to my superintendent to expedite it. It was done immediately (8a Monday). Every other time this has happened, I've gotten same day service but they say anywhere from 24-48 hours. It's Thursday! It's cut and dry. Approve it already!

I am also applying for my middle school license after I get this one so I can be more marketable in the future if need be. I have no desire as of now to teach middle school but I want the flexibility should I ever want to. And I can't apply until this goes through. l.fkhj ;FJ;fj! I'm just frustrated with this nonsense. I literally want to ask them if they need help down there. I would come in to do some mindless work for a few hours to speed up their whole process for people. It takes 6 months to approve the preliminary/initial license after you graduate. Do the math. You graduate in May and don't get a teaching license until November. School starts in late August... Yes, once you are hired by a district they can expedite your license there but it's so frustrating. Six months otherwise? I remember how stressed I was when I heard that in May 2006. It seems ridiculous. They should have dozens of people working on this from 8-5, Monday through Friday to get rid of this issue. Hire more people. Simple. 

Anyone who knows me knows I hate non-action. If we're talking about doing something, let's do it. I have n desire to waste time not accomplishing anything. Or not accomplishing as much as I possibly can and so I don't understand when everyone else doesn't have the same drive. It drives me nuts. 

And I like to do them well and fast. I took all 12 credits in the span of 8 months and I am signed up for 8 more in the next year. I did my master's program in an intensive one year process. I just don't like wasting time so I don't get it when other adults can't do it. Kids are a whole different story. 

End rant.

Hopefully I will have it by this time tomorrow. 

More stuff around the house

More improvements today. I spruced up the front of the house a little.

Before:

After:

 Scott got rid of a bunch of stuff my dad and I cut down in August 2011. Whoops.

Pile of tree branches before:

Pile of tree branches after:

Plus Scott got rid of a dead tree out front, painted the bulkhead and got some water stains/marks out of our ceiling.  

I then spent 3 hours taking pictures at theWillard House & Clock Museum for their Harvest Festival.

I finished off my day by trying to clean out the attic more. Scott helped moved bulky stuff. My phone died or I'd post pics. I'll have to do that tomorrow night. So excited that How I Met Your Mother is back on tomorrow!!!

Work around the house

Scott and I spent a good chunk of change on some stuff for around the house at Lowes so we can spend a couple of days fixing more of it up and continue to box it up.

Tree "wounds" before tree paint:

Tree "wounds" after tree paint:

And by "tree paint" I mean brown spray paint. I think they make paint to go over the "wounds" so they don't look ridiculous but I couldn't find it. 

I tackled Moritz's old room to get it 100% done. I started this awhile ago and forgot about it. First I cleaned out the armoir in there. That is free, by the way so if you want it, come get it!

Before:

After:

This was Moritz's room a few months ago. There was so much stuff blocking the door I couldn't even get in. 

So Scott & I removed that bureau and this is what was left. 

This is where I stopped in July:

But this is what it looks like as of tonight:

The closet is completely cleaned out in that room as well.

Scott put together the garden cart we bought after the old one died and someone, I'm guessing, stole our wheelbarrow as it has vanished. 

Here it is before:

And after:

Finding stuff

As part of my continuation of August's goals, I decided to clean out an old room that a few people have lived in over our lives - a room we call Moritz's room. It as named after our foreign exchange student who spent a year with us. And even though people lived in it before and after him, he defined it. 

I found a lot of old memories in an armoir in that room. BTW, that armoir is free so if you want it, come get it!

 First, I found my first cell phone ever. I didn't get one until sophomore year of college - spring 2003. Look how ridiculous it is. I remember the first day I had it, I couldn't figure it out and it kept going off in a class I was in. It was a small class - like 10 people and the professor was like, "Can you shut that off?" and I was like, "I don't know how!". Idiot.

Then I found the observation journal I kept from my first month of the graduate program I did. We had to observe everything from kids arriving at school to how the office worked to lunch time to guidance to a teacher in every department to specialty classes like art, gym, music, art, languages etc... We had to shadow a student for an entire day and a vice principal for a day and one of our fellow student teachers for a lesson and much more. It was a lot of observing.  I think that would be a good idea for a new teacher at every school. And maybe veterans too. Sometimes we think we know how things should run or how they work but we haven't seen it in awhile and are wrong.  My observations were 25 pages long. It brought back a lot of memories reading through it all. It also reminded me of some good things my high school (Hopkinton) and Central do. Stuff I forgot about.

And then this random box of stuff. There are honor cords I wore to graduations, ribbons for NRHH (which I was president of for a year), my name tag from when I worked at Hoyts, old jewelry, my first night button from 2001, stamps, money from Italy before it started using the euro, choir pins from high school, a hair decoration from my prom, an iron on patch form a band I used to like, a bracelet I was given when I was 5, and a collar from my dog Max. I have no idea what moose mania is or that star or why I have an all-star game 1999 pin - I certainly didn't go to the game. Random

And I found allllllll of my scrapbooking stuff from back in the day when I did it allllll the time.

 

Inspirational

If this guy can do it, I can do it:

New active goal

I should have come up with this last year when the weather was warm the entire year but I didn't. I want to kayak at least once a month for an entire year. Yes, even in the winter months if I can. 

I went to the gym yesterday with my brother and today by myself :)

Watching someone die?

At church this morning, I watched an older man have a heart attack or a stroke or something directly in front of me... Like the seat in front of me. A few people there were nurses and said things like ,"he's not breathing", "get the defibrillator" and "I don't feel a pulse"... Not sure if he's ok but it was traumatic to say the least. Please pray that he is going to be ok. :( At one point all I could think of was, "oh my God, is he going to be all right?" and my leg would not stop shaking. I felt the flutter of a panic attack - but it didn't come. I've never been there while someone took their last breath. And I kept thinking that he wasn't with his family - how scary must that be?

As I sat there watching it all happen I felt almost frozen. There was nothing I could do. Everyone who was helping him was a nurse or an EMT or had experience with this stuff. 

It makes me want to get re-certified in the defibrillator and CPR in case that happens again and no one qualified is around. I'll update this as soon as I hear how he is. I really hope he is ok.

October has me dealing with my fears and death is one of the biggies for me.

75% done!

As of tonight I have read (or listened to) the entire Old Testament. I have 3 months left of reading and it's all the good stuff: the New Testament. 

It feels really good to have accomplished this. So many times I st out to read the Bible and failed miserably after like 40 days. But I made it this far! It was really tough and really dry and a lot of times I was like "what is the point of this verse???" but I read it all the way through!

Here is the last chapter in the Old Testament!

And my chart is all filled in for September - I am ahead of schedule. And just in time for church tomorrow :)

Forgive and forget? Or forgive or forget?

Each year each teacher picks a summer reading book to discuss with students during the first month of school. It can be any book. I chose The Kite Runner (TKR).  When I first heard about this book a few years back, I heard it was awesome but I wasn’t grabbed by the title so I waited until last year to read it. I loved it. It was so incredibly sad but engaging. I liked it so much I read the author’s other book A Thousand Splendid Suns - also great.I usually hate sad books but these books pulled me in.

I mention TKR now because a few days ago I was trying to make a quiz for the discussion tomorrow and was having a difficult time answering online ones so I decided to re-read it and watch the movie. I had no idea there was a movie. The story is just as great a 2nd time and unlike most book-to-movies, the movie holds up (but obviously the book is much better). But one of the things that grabs me from the book is that there are two characters in it - Hassan and Amir. They are roughly the same age and as the story begins they are young - maybe 12. Hassan is Amir’s servant but is such a respectful kid and they are friends. However, being a prepubescent boy, Amir is a jackass to Hassan and plays tricks on him and taunts him for not being able to read (mostly because he doesn't go to school because he is a servant for Amir). And Hassan always just takes it and never retaliates. he constantly stands up for Amir and never says a nasty thing to him. He just has this passionate undying brotherly love and respect for his friend Amir. He just wants to please Amir and makes his life as great as possible. Even when Amir hides money under Hassan's mattress to look like he stole it to get Hassan in trouble, Hassan admits he stole it (when he didn't)... and twenty years later, Hassan writes Amir a letter saying how much he misses him and that if Amir ever decides to move back to Kabul he will find a loyal friend waiting for him. 

How convenient is it that I read the book this month? But then again, I don't believe in coincidences...
 
I could never do that as of now. The second someone does something mean/wrong to me, I feel like I remember it forever. But it really grabbed me that this kid Hassan has such a forgiving spirit in him. The entire time while reading the book and watching the movie, my heart broke for Hassan and I wanted to strangle Amir for being such a mean kid. I guess that is why I picked this for this month. I want to be able to do that. I want to be able to forgive and just let stupid things go and not think about it every single time I think of that person. Right now, I am incapable but I am hoping with a lot of practice I can get there. I don't mean to be naive. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you. It's not blind forgiveness. But I am trying to move to a place when I am able to forgive and more importantly, not let it bother me. I don't want to dwell on the past.

Another thing I need to work on is not getting happy when something bad happens to someone I dislike. I don’t dislike many people but the ones I do are because they did something wrong to me. This is part of forgiveness. I shouldn’t find even a little joy in that. But as of right now, I do. I take a little joy in when bad things happen to "bad" people. And my definition of bad is that they wronged me. I am an idiot. But part of this process has to be that for REALLY bad things, the other person should try too. And not through other people. By yourself, like an adult. I believe when someone earnestly asks for forgiveness, it should be granted. If I don't give it to someone who has asked it's because I don't believe they are sincere. I am a pretty good judge of character and an even better judge of someone being dishonest. 

Your actions have consequences. We should all be more mindful of the things we say and the things we do or don't do and how it affects others. I've written this before but if you feel I have wronged you in some way, I hope you reach out so we can settle it. Or at least so you can move on. I will attempt to do the same for you. It's worth noting that sometimes, some things just can't be fixed. And sometimes walking away is the only option. But if and when I walk away from you, I will try my best to let it go and not harbor hate in my heart for you. I will earnestly pray for you and hope you have a good life - even if it's without me in it.

Church

In an effort to be constantly trying to improve and fulfilling my "bucket list" item of reading the entire Bible before I am 30, Scott & I went to church today. It was actually really good, I am a big fan and even more interesting, Scott liked it (or at least didn't dislike it) even though it was a protestant church and he grew up in the Catholic Church and they are VERY different. I thought he might think it was cult-ish but he didn't. I personally get nothing out of repetition and thinking that I need someone else to go to God for me but I don't necessarily think Catholicism is wrong. It's just different and not for me. That's ok because we are not all cookie cutter people. We all need something different.

The service was engaging and even had skits and videos and the pastor spoke like a normal human being. They even put their sermons online - very cool if you don't happen to make it to either the 9a or 10:45a. Another cool thing is that they have a 10:45a service so you don't have to wake up at the crack of dawn. 

I don't think going to church necessarily makes you a better person and going certainly does not mean you are a Christian or that you are instantly going to heaven but it's a step in the right direction to trying to be the person you were created to be and being surrounded by others who actively want the same. It certainly can't hurt you. Plus going might help me in my goal of trying to forgive people, the theme for the month.

Finally, there are 3500 types of Christians. There is only one true definition of a Christian and it is that you believe Jesus died for you and that He is God. That is it. There are 3500 different interpretations of a book that I am still highly suspicious about given the history of how it was made/translated. So who's to say which one of the 3500 is right? Moreover, does it really matter? Does it matter if one type dances and sings to music and one has someone sing to you? Or any of the other trivial matters they fight over? No one is going to hell over listening/singing to music or any of the other 3500 differentiations. No church is perfect. What are the odds that even one of those 3500 are the "right" one that 100% gives God's message? Probably somewhere near 0%. So what is the point in arguing which is right or wrong? I think you just need to find a church where there are people there who you connect with that help you to connect with God. And hopefully one that you get something out of. I don't know about you but I don't like being bored. There are times when it's necessary but not 100% of the time. If all I did was lecture to my students for 65 minutes, I would lose them around 10 minutes in if not sooner. The same thing goes with hearing messages from a pastor. I want someone who is engaging and filled with passion for the message he/she prepared for the week. This is why I don't think religion is necessarily the word anyone should be striving for but instead spirituality is.

I also finished the book of Jonah finally. I took quite the hiatus but am back and still ahead of schedule. My goal is to read the entire New Testament and not listen to it using audible since the material is much more meaningful. I don't know if that will happen but that is the goal. 

Ataraxia

September -Learn to let go. It takes much to anger me but I am very slow to forgive and forget. I need to learn to do these things. 

This is something that was not in Gretchen's book and since I've misplaced my book I had to wait to borrow a copy from a friend which is why there is SUCH a late start this month and then I found out I didn't even need it! GAH!

Anyways, my favorite word in the English language is panacea, which for you lazy types means, "a remedy for all disease, a cure-all" or "an answer or solution for all problems or difficulties". Essentially, medically, there is no panacea otherwise someone would be making a lot of money. Or spending a lot of money to find this said panacea. But it does exist for many non-medical things/situations. Like exercise and diet are the panaceas for weight loss for most. Unfortunately, for most things in life there is no panacea. It takes many different things to fix something that is broken. But I love the concept that something like this exists even if it really doesn't. I like taking the easy way out of things. It's not that I don't like challenges but for certain really tough things, easy way - or panacea - works for me. (By the way, randomly, my second favorite word of all time is something I just learned this week thanks to dictionary.com's word of the day. It is ataraxia, meaning "a state of freedom from emotional disturbance and anxiety; tranquility". As many of you know I have a severe generalized anxiety disorder so that concept makes me happy/jealous as well.) 

So what does this have to do with forgiving and forgetting? I hold grudges. I know I shouldn't. While it takes a long time to anger me, it does not take long for me to question your motives. I believe strongly in having a good character. I remember little things and big things for a long time. If you lie to me once, I am unlikely to believe you for a long time. If you spill a secret of mine once, I am unlikely to trust you not to again for a long time. Words mean very little to me. It is all about actions. Someone can apologize but if they are not sincere and their behavior does not change, they truly are not sorry and therefore they have done wrong again. And all it takes is one time.


It's not fair since I am not perfect and wouldn't want someone to hold a grudge against me but when I do something wrong, I apologize and mean it and do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't happen again. 

There are some little situations I have in mind and there are some very severe examples that I am referring to when I think of things I need to work on forgiving and forgetting or at the very least forgetting. And it won't take a month. It will take a long time but thus far I have just not even tried. I just have remembered them and held a grudge. Starting today I am going to actively try to forgive these people and if I can't, I'll forget it so it doesn't affect me.

Also, if I have done something wrong to you, please talk to me about it so we can clear the air! :)

Here's September's chart: short & simple. This will not be easy. This is a BIG deal for me. But I am willing to try. Life is short and you only live once. No use in living with hate or grudges in my heart.

Last day of exercise for the week

I did not exercise yesterday. I didn't get much sleep after the game on Wednesday and could not get out of bed early and at the end of the day I got a really bad headache and had to lay down which turned into a 4 hour nap. Whoops. 

But I did go Friday morning.  I lifted weights for 20 minutes and my arms are sore! Then I did a new machine that looks like an elliptical but isn't for 10 and it was realllllly hard - much harder than a real elliptical. I couldn't figure out how to take a pic of its results so here's a blank shot:

Also, we ate some peaches form the peach tree in our yard. At first we were a little skeptical but they tasted pretty good! The tree is so small and the peaches are normal size so it looks a bit ridiculous.