This is something that was not in Gretchen's book and since I've misplaced my book I had to wait to borrow a copy from a friend which is why there is SUCH a late start this month and then I found out I didn't even need it! GAH!
Anyways, my favorite word in the English language is panacea, which for you lazy types means, "a remedy for all disease, a cure-all" or "an answer or solution for all problems or difficulties". Essentially, medically, there is no panacea otherwise someone would be making a lot of money. Or spending a lot of money to find this said panacea. But it does exist for many non-medical things/situations. Like exercise and diet are the panaceas for weight loss for most. Unfortunately, for most things in life there is no panacea. It takes many different things to fix something that is broken. But I love the concept that something like this exists even if it really doesn't. I like taking the easy way out of things. It's not that I don't like challenges but for certain really tough things, easy way - or panacea - works for me. (By the way, randomly, my second favorite word of all time is something I just learned this week thanks to dictionary.com's word of the day. It is ataraxia, meaning "a state of freedom from emotional disturbance and anxiety; tranquility". As many of you know I have a severe generalized anxiety disorder so that concept makes me happy/jealous as well.)
So what does this have to do with forgiving and forgetting? I hold grudges. I know I shouldn't. While it takes a long time to anger me, it does not take long for me to question your motives. I believe strongly in having a good character. I remember little things and big things for a long time. If you lie to me once, I am unlikely to believe you for a long time. If you spill a secret of mine once, I am unlikely to trust you not to again for a long time. Words mean very little to me. It is all about actions. Someone can apologize but if they are not sincere and their behavior does not change, they truly are not sorry and therefore they have done wrong again. And all it takes is one time.
It's not fair since I am not perfect and wouldn't want someone to hold a grudge against me but when I do something wrong, I apologize and mean it and do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't happen again.
There are some little situations I have in mind and there are some very severe examples that I am referring to when I think of things I need to work on forgiving and forgetting or at the very least forgetting. And it won't take a month. It will take a long time but thus far I have just not even tried. I just have remembered them and held a grudge. Starting today I am going to actively try to forgive these people and if I can't, I'll forget it so it doesn't affect me.
Also, if I have done something wrong to you, please talk to me about it so we can clear the air! :)
Here's September's chart: short & simple. This will not be easy. This is a BIG deal for me. But I am willing to try. Life is short and you only live once. No use in living with hate or grudges in my heart.
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