I mention TKR now because a few days ago I was trying to make a quiz for the discussion tomorrow and was having a difficult time answering online ones so I decided to re-read it and watch the movie. I had no idea there was a movie. The story is just as great a 2nd time and unlike most book-to-movies, the movie holds up (but obviously the book is much better). But one of the things that grabs me from the book is that there are two characters in it - Hassan and Amir. They are roughly the same age and as the story begins they are young - maybe 12. Hassan is Amir’s servant but is such a respectful kid and they are friends. However, being a prepubescent boy, Amir is a jackass to Hassan and plays tricks on him and taunts him for not being able to read (mostly because he doesn't go to school because he is a servant for Amir). And Hassan always just takes it and never retaliates. he constantly stands up for Amir and never says a nasty thing to him. He just has this passionate undying brotherly love and respect for his friend Amir. He just wants to please Amir and makes his life as great as possible. Even when Amir hides money under Hassan's mattress to look like he stole it to get Hassan in trouble, Hassan admits he stole it (when he didn't)... and twenty years later, Hassan writes Amir a letter saying how much he misses him and that if Amir ever decides to move back to Kabul he will find a loyal friend waiting for him.
How convenient is it that I read the book this month? But then again, I don't believe in coincidences...
I could never do that as of now. The second someone does something mean/wrong to me, I feel like I remember it forever. But it really grabbed me that this kid Hassan has such a forgiving spirit in him. The entire time while reading the book and watching the movie, my heart broke for Hassan and I wanted to strangle Amir for being such a mean kid. I guess that is why I picked this for this month. I want to be able to do that. I want to be able to forgive and just let stupid things go and not think about it every single time I think of that person. Right now, I am incapable but I am hoping with a lot of practice I can get there. I don't mean to be naive. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you. It's not blind forgiveness. But I am trying to move to a place when I am able to forgive and more importantly, not let it bother me. I don't want to dwell on the past.
Another thing I need to work on is not getting happy when something bad happens to someone I dislike. I don’t dislike many people but the ones I do are because they did something wrong to me. This is part of forgiveness. I shouldn’t find even a little joy in that. But as of right now, I do. I take a little joy in when bad things happen to "bad" people. And my definition of bad is that they wronged me. I am an idiot. But part of this process has to be that for REALLY bad things, the other person should try too. And not through other people. By yourself, like an adult. I believe when someone earnestly asks for forgiveness, it should be granted. If I don't give it to someone who has asked it's because I don't believe they are sincere. I am a pretty good judge of character and an even better judge of someone being dishonest.
Your actions have consequences. We should all be more mindful of the things we say and the things we do or don't do and how it affects others. I've written this before but if you feel I have wronged you in some way, I hope you reach out so we can settle it. Or at least so you can move on. I will attempt to do the same for you. It's worth noting that sometimes, some things just can't be fixed. And sometimes walking away is the only option. But if and when I walk away from you, I will try my best to let it go and not harbor hate in my heart for you. I will earnestly pray for you and hope you have a good life - even if it's without me in it.
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